Good Luck Katie.

It’s been fun watching America’s Kid Sister grow up.

To quote Katie Couric, “You are going to be so sick of me by the end of May, you're going to be like "goodbye already!"”

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Good Luck Mike.

I’m glad that you never interviewed me on 60 Minutes. Then again I’m sorry that you never interviewed me on 60 minutes.

To quote Mike Wallace, "I determined that if I was to carve out a piece of reportorial territory for myself it would be doing the hard interview, irreverent if necessary, the facade-piercing interview."



Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Confessions of a Wingnut Part 2.

Wingnut: A fan of the Aaron Sorkin political drama TV series The West Wing.

Last January I wrote an article titled CHILD OF TELEVISION: Confessions of a Wingnut. There I expressed my sadness over the loss of one of my favorite shows. I also listed my predictions for how the show would end.

Bartlet is able to broker peace between Russia and China over Kazakhstan thus ending his presidency on a high note securing his legacy. That unresolved problem landed on Santos' desk.


Bartlet's good press only helps fellow Democrat Santos win the election. Well, I got it half right.

As Bartlet's final presidential act he pardons Toby Ziegler (Richard Schiff) for his role in the military shuttle leak. I nailed that one.

The show will deal with the loss of actor John Spencer (Leo McGarry). Okay it didn't happen in the final episode, but Leo's (and John's) presence was strongly felt especially showing the cocktail napkin with "Bartlet for America" written on it at the end.

I think that it would be very cool if Santos on Josh Lyman’s (Bradley Whitford) recommendation appoints Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe) as vice president. Well, Rob Lowe came back. I guess the rest of it was just wishful thinking.

Even though I’m saddened to see The West Wing go, this cloud has a silver lining. The creative team of Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme will premier a new show on NBC this fall Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, A behind-the-scenes look at a fictional sketch-comedy TV show.

Once again to quote Leo McGarry, There are two things in the world you never want people to see how you make them - laws and sausages.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

PS: That was a cool cameo Aaron.

Stephen Colbert is funny.

Colbert Roasts President Bush - 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner
Here is something new to add to my list of Comedy Grievances. I am still hearing rumblings about Stephen Colbert's keynote speech at the White House Correspondents Association dinner. People are questioning whether Stephen Colbert is funny. Once again I must point out that comedy is subjective. Of course Stephen Colbert is funny. If he wasn't funny he would never have been given the opportunities that he has been given including being invited to speak at the Correspondent’s dinner. During this annual event people get roasted. No one in the public eye can and should never above roasting, especially people in politics and the media.

Merriam-Webster Online
Entry Word: satire
Function: nounText: a creative work that uses sharp humor to point up the foolishness of a person, institution, or human nature in general Synonyms lampoon Related Words burlesque, caricature, parody, spoof, takeoff; comedy, farce, sketch, slapstick, squib; derision, ridicule; mockery, travesty

Knowing this if you still have a problem with being satirized you can,
a) Take the advice of President Harry Truman, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen".
b) Hire a different comedian who will not make fun of the president. (I'm sure Dennis Miller is available.)

I'm sure Stephen Colbert was told one thing, "Be funny". It is never a good idea to show a comedian the line that must not be crossed. Still I hear people saying that Stephen Colbert was not funny at the correspondent’s dinner because not many people present laughed. I’d say that this is a great example of what Mr. Colbert calls "Truthiness"
Truthiness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Truthiness is the quality by which a person purports to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or to what the person might conclude from intellectual examination.

Here is my take on that audience laughter assessment.
a) One third of the audience thought he was funny and laughed.
b) Another third of the audience thought he was not funny and did not laugh.
c) And another third of the audience thought he was funny but did not laugh out of fear of being seen laughing (The same way some people, after hearing an ethnic joke have to visually scan the room to make that no one from that ethnic persuasion is present to see them laugh).

This means that an overwhelming two thirds of the audience thought that Stephen Colbert's speech was funny.
To quote Stephen Colbert's keynote speech at the White House Correspondents Association dinner, "So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Some thoughts on DATELINE’S "To Catch a Predator".

Dateline NBC has had an on going series of reports where they trap sexual predators searching the Internet and targeting underage teens for sex. When I saw the highlights from the third installment of the To Catch a Predator series. I had several questions.

My first question is for the parents of computer literate teenagers. Are you aware of this problem? I have met so many so many parents that treat their computer illiteracy as something to be proud of. " Oh Jenny is on that computer all the time. Me I don’t know how to turn the thing on". Guess what? Jenny is making a date with a guy whose online photo looks like Brad Pitt, but in reality looks like Larry The Cable Guy. Whether you mask your computer illiteracy as an excuse saying that you are to old to learn how to use a computer or that you don’t want to be a slave to technology YOU ARE WRONG. There are parental control programs that are designed to help you with this task, but since most parents can’t master the "V" chip how can I expect you to access these parental control programs on your browser? More importantly, do you know what your kids are doing online or are you in denial about that?

My second question is for small town America. Are you in denial too? The same way parents say, "Not my child", community leaders say, "Not in our town". If you think that this is a big city problem, YOU ARE WRONG. When Dateline aired To Catch a Predator IV this time the sting was set up in Greenville, Ohio. Even in small town America vulnerable young teens are not far from danger. These predators were willing to drive for hours (Sometimes even crossing state lines) to have sex with a thirteen year old girl your thirteen year old girl. It's time to get off your moral high ground and face reality.

My third question is for Media watchdog groups like The Parents Television Council. Why are you not giving any credit to Dateline for doing this series of reports? I thought your organization was dedicated to protecting our children. You have people watching hours of primetime television and inventory swear words, sexual content, violence, disrespect for authority and other negative content. Then the data goes into your "Entertainment Tracking System". You criticize a dramatic show that features sexual predators going after kids online like Crossing Jordan or Law and Order SVU, and place them on your Worst Show of the Week list. So you are outraged over something that is a piece of drama, drama that the audience can take or leave. You choose ignore this real threat. Maybe the PTC does not want risk loosing their base by telling parents not to be in denial, learn how or to use the "V" chip and become computer literate. Perhaps they want to down play the fact MySpace (A popular site for predators seeking underage teens in these reports) is owned by News Corp. Yes the same News Corp that owns the FOX News Channel. I wonder if the PTC spoke out on this subject would their representatives be invited on Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity's shows.

I have to ask the predators themselves... I guess this has to be a rhetorical question since the actual predators featured in the report are probably a little busy right now and hopefully forbidden by the court to use the Internet. Why don't you have the sense that God gave bugs and viruses? Bugs develop immunities to insecticides and viruses mutate to survive changes in their environment. So why after the first couple of To Catch a Predator reports did you not suspect that when you making your date that this might be a trap? After seeing the forth installment of the series I realized that you guys are so sick that your pedophile nature overshadows your common sense. The first guy (The one with all the booze) on the report looked like he would be kicked out of a brothel for not meeting the dress code. This guy was so stupid that if Dateline had not busted him, he eventually would have won a Darwin Award. I am amazed that he knew how to work a computer to make the date in the first place (Just proves that anyone can learn). Why would anyone, let alone a thirteen-year-old girl find this walking Jeff Foxworthy joke appealing? The guy enters the house, puts his booze on the bar, and then unzips his pants. Who says romance is dead. This guy later threatened to sue if Dateline if showed him on TV. It's not like Jay Leno made you look like a fool on one of his Jay Walking bits. Even more amazing is one of the later predators, a schoolteacher, suspected that this might be a Dateline trap but obviously the risk was worth taking if there was the slightest possibility of having sex with a thirteen-year-old. You are a teacher, an educated man and your pedophile nature overshadows your common sense. Unlike another teacher who actually did have sex with an underage teen, you are not too pretty to go to jail. It seems that every predator was trying hook up with a young girl for the first time and many of these predators claimed to be very religious people (One was actually a rabbi). Sadly I think many of you had tried and succeeded in doing this before. As for religion, I'm sure you will have many religious experiences in jail.

When I write my Blog my goal is to illustrate how real life influences TV and how TV influences real life. These Dateline reports have vividly illustrated a threat to our children that is more serious than Nip/Tuck, Family Guy or Janet Jackson's right breast. To the teenagers who are chatting online with grown men you have no business associating with, not to sound cynical but... Oh who am I kidding there are bad people out there and they play for keeps. You are playing with fire and you will get burned.

To quote Jay Leno (Interviewing Hugh Grant was after he was caught in his car with prostitute Divine Brown), "What the hell were you thinking?"

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

DAY JOB DIAIRES (Click PODCAST)

STORY SALON presents
DAY JOB DIARIES
an evening of stories presented by
Donna Allen-Figueroa

I'm The REAL Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio RE-POST.

On my last trip to the video store I found The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio on DVD. This caused some memories to come flooding back. In October of 2005 I posted an article titled I’m The REAL Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio. I also posted this article on Blogcritics (Blogcritics.org: I'm The REAL Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.). The article featured material about my life in Defiance Ohio from stories that I performed at STORY SALON and our show GUESS WHO'S COMING TO COFFEE. (By the way Donna and I will be performing the show at Fringe Festivals in the Midwest this summer). This material was always well received when performed live. I got a great deal of positive feedback from people who now live in Los Angeles bur have a small town in their past. Perhaps this same material was intended to be performed and not read because other former Defiance residents (No one that I knew) who read this article on Blogcritics took issue with what I had to say. Some of my punch lines were taken at face value. My sources of information were questioned even though these sources were news papers, web sites family members a quote from the movie, and my own childhood memories. I have lived in Hollywood most of my life. We who live in Hollywood are constantly being accused of being out of touch with the rest of the country i.e. middle America. I disagree with that accusation. I know more Angelinos who came from somewhere else i.e. middle America, than were born here. Neither these people nor I forgot where we came from in fact our past is an inspiration for our art. An artist creation should invoke some sort of response be it pleasure, inspiration, or even anger. When one’s art is comedy somebody usually takes a pie in the face. So I’d say that we are not out of touch with the rest of the country, it’s that there are some people in this country who are not ready to face themselves in our art.

To quote Bill Maher (Host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher), "Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America, it's your mirror".

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa


I'm The REAL Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.

Last week I went to see the Go Fish Pictures (DreamWorks) production of The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio. The movie stars Julianne Moore and Woody Harrelson. It is biased on Terry Ryan's best selling book about how her mother raised ten kids on twenty-five words or less. I really enjoyed the book and thought that Jane Anderson did a nice job adapting the screenplay. I only wish that the movie could have captured the town of Defiance better. In the book the town was it's own character. I fully realize turning a 351-page book into a 90-minute screenplay requires some streamlining.

Now you may ask, "What does this have to do with me or my CHILD OF TELEVISION column?" Well, I lived in Defiance Ohio from 1965-1972 and until recently I would visit the town often. Defiance Ohio is the inspiration for the fictional town of Compliance Ohio in my pilot RED STATE. My childhood memories of Defiance were very romantic it was like Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show. It was quiet, everybody knew everybody, and kids played safely in the street. The people who lived on my street were like the Nelsons from The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, or the Cleavers from Leave It to Beaver, Defiance was the ideal that television presented to America. When I was small, I was not aware of the many un-Mayberry like elements connected to Defiance. For example, there were other Puerto Ricans and even some blacks living in Defiance when I arrived, but they literally lived on the other side of the train tracks. Since I was half-Swedish, I was allowed to live on the good side. In my adulthood I saw Defiance make the national news several times. Once when the KKK went to recruit members (unsuccessfully) at the Defiance courthouse. Another news story involved a run-a-way train coming through town. The cops decided to shoot out the tires. Proof alone that we are not dealing with the smartest part of the country. Then there was the Christmas when Santa Claus was physically thrown out of a church by four guys. Santa spent the holidays in traction because some Defiance residents take their religion very seriously. The best restaurant in Defiance is the Defiance Hospital Cafeteria. It has been written up in all the local papers. I never heard my grandparents mention Defiance Hospital in conjunction with quality health care, but it's cafeteria gets 5 stars from the Toledo Blade food critic. I have a friend who did a lot of TV in Puerto Rico. While doing a Google search and typed in his name, Johnny Ray Rodriguez, that another Johnny Ray Rodriguez, is one of thirty or so sexually oriented offenders living in Defiance Ohio. I'd seen news stories about registered sex offenders who would try to move in to a neighborhood only to be run out by the residents. I always wondered where they wound up. Now I know.

"What are they? High?" I asked. Then I remembered something historically significant that my Grandfather told me. During WWII there were huge fields near my grandparents house that the government used to grow hemp to make rope. When the war was over they didn't do a very good job of clearing the hemp. No wonder hippies would go camping in these fields (maybe that's what attracted Woody Harrelson to the movie). Birds and the wind spread the seeds all over town. For years my grandmother kept pulling these weeds out of her flower box. "What are these things?"

Grandpa knew. After he died I was going through his tool shed and I found this little pipe. He was in constant pain towards the end of his life and hated the care he was getting at Defiance Hospital (probably because he could never get a reservation). Perhaps Grandpa was self-medicating. I think that hemp seeped into the ground water. I see myself as the Real Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio. I got the hell out of that town.

I wish Terry Ryan continued success and have to admit that I have some professional jealousy. I had wanted to be the first to put Defiance, Ohio on the map by making fun of the town. Instead, she has used the town as the backdrop for a very inspirational story. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned in that... Naah!

There is a scene in the movie where Evelyn Ryan (Julianne Moore), while leaving town for the day, passes by a sign that reads, "Defiance is a nice place to live". Evelyn turns to her daughter Tuff (Ellary Porterfield) and says, "Defiance is a nice place to leave!"

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

Reader’s Comments at Blogcritics.org: I'm The REAL Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.

What was the best sitcom pilot ever made?

In a few weeks we will be saying farewell to shows like Will and Grace and The West Wing. New shows will have to take their place this fall. A television pilot is a prototype of a TV series used to get the network, and then later the viewers, interested and may be the aired as the first episode of the series. Due to the popularity of single camera sitcoms like My Name is Earl and The Office we can expect to see more single camera sitcoms. The good news is that the sitcom is not dead. The bad news is that we may see a lot of carbon copies of My Name is Earl and The Office.

Whenever I talk to friends about the new fall season and we place our bets as to what shows will last and what shows will die and how soon those shows will die, I always ask, "What was the best sitcom pilot ever made?" When I ask that I mean, "What pilot presents you with the best example of what you are going to see on the show week after week?" I have to ask the second part of the question because there are many pilots that are not good examples of what a regular episode will be like. These premise pilots set in motion a chain of events that the rest of the episodes will follow. The Cheers pilot titled: Give Me a Ring Sometime is an example of a premise pilot where we see how Diane Chambers (Shelley Long) gets stood up by her fiancée and then winds up working at the bar. Understandably there are shows whose episodes may differ from the pilot in regards to changes in cast, characters, set or style but these business decisions are intended to be improvements.

I have three examples of what I think were the best sitcom pilots ever made.

The Andy Griffith Show
This is an example of a backdoor pilot where characters and their story lines are introduced in an episode of another TV show with intentions to judge the audience’s reaction. This is also a cheap and easy way of getting a pilot produced and seen. The Andy Griffith Show originated from an episode of The Danny Thomas Show. Sheriff Andy Taylor (Andy Griffith) arrests Danny Williams (Danny Thomas) for running a stop sign while driving through Mayberry, North Carolina. While Danny is waiting for a resolution to the problem, various town folk enter the courthouse and Andy resolves their problems with his own brand of homespun common sense. Even though The Andy Griffith Show’s look and cast were retooled, we saw a slice of Sheriff Andy Taylor’s life.

Hogan's Heroes
First we must put aside any criticism of the show in regards to historical inaccuracy, German characters in the show speaking English to each other or the depiction of the Germans as funny and incompetent. The pilot of Hogan's Heroes Titled: The Informer was shot in black & white and aired as the first episode of the series. The pilot was not shown in syndication because it was in black & white and lacked continuity with the rest of the series until TV Land started airing the show. In the pilot Lieutenant (not Sergeant) Carter, played by guest star Larry Hovis, has just escaped from another POW camp and is brought to Camp (not Stalag) 13. Colonel Hogan (Bob Crane) and his men help Carter escape to England by passing him off as a German civilian. Hogan’s operation is threatened when the Germans plant a spy in the camp.
Note: Colonel Klink (Werner Klemperer) attempts to speak to the spy in German and the spy informs Klink they will speak in English. In his line of work it is dangerous to even think in German. The Pilot bears a striking resemblance to the movie Stalag 17.
Even with the differences between the pilot and the rest of the series, the pilot presents you with the best example of what you are going to see on the show week after week, although I wish the show kept some of the elements of the pilot.

TAXI
The Pilot of TAXI, Titled: Like Father, Like Daughter opens in the Sunshine Cab Company’s garage. Enter Elaine Nardo (Marilu Henner), a part time receptionist at an art gallery. She first has an unpleasant encounter with the dispatcher Louie DePalma (Danny DeVito) when he finds out the she is just a driver. She then meets Alex Rieger (Judd Hirsch) who she informs that this is just a part time job. Alex responds with, "We're all part-time here. I'm part-time. I only work 60 hours a week. You see that guy over there? Now, he's an actor. The guy on the phone, he's a prizefighter. This lady over here, she's a beautician. The man behind her, he's a writer. Me, I'm a cab driver. I'm the only cab driver in this place." That quote alone tells the viewer everything that they need to know about the show and it did so within the first five minutes.

Now I ask my readers, "What pilot presents you with the best example of what you are going to see on the show week after week?" Please let me know what you think.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Chico, don't be discouraged.

Last week I mentioned in CHILD OF TELEVISION: The 2006 TV Land Awards. that, "For me the highlight this year was José Feliciano performing the theme to Chico and the Man." Since then I have heard from fans of Chico and the Man expressing their love for the show. But I am amazed that now there is a whole generation of people now who had never heard of the show. If I asked this same generation, "Who is Freddie Prinze?" the answer I'd get is, "Freddie Prinze Jr’s father?" Although that’s the correct answer, I tend to get the answer in the form of a question.

I remember in the fall of 1974 NBC premiered a new show that followed Sanford and Son. The show was called Chico and the Man. It stared Jack Albertson and "Introducing" Freddie Prinze. The show was set was a broken down garage in the barrio of East Los Angeles. The garage was owned by, The Man, a cranky old bigot named Ed Brown (Albertson). Ed liked yelling as his customers and neighbors who were mostly Mexican. Enter Chico Rodriguez (Prinze) a young Chicano, Vietnam vet who comes to Ed's garage looking for a job. In the first few minutes Freddie Prinze steals the show. I was blown away by his performance and thrilled to see a fellow Puerto Rican on TV. (Freddie Prinze actually was of Puerto Rican and Hungarian decent. He referred to himself as "Hungarican". I am of Puerto Rican and Swedish decent, making me a "Swedearican".)

Over the first three seasons, the relationship between Ed and Chico went from adversarial to partners to father and son. Here is my historical television perspective. If Norman Lear opened the door to a new type of television comedy with All in the Family, Chico and the Man was one of the first shows that was not produced by Norman Lear to go through that door (The show was created and produced by James Komack). The show did face some controversy since few Mexican-Americans were actually involved in the production. Freddie Prinze and Jose Feliciano were Puerto Rican. The name "Chico" was considered a derogatory nickname to Chicanos. Chico’s catch phrase "That's not my job" (Used in Freddie Prinze’s his stand up act) was seen as perpetuating the lazy Hispanic stereotype. The catch phrase was later changed to "Looking Good". On January 28, 1977 Freddie Prinze took his life. The show did go on and it was explained that Chico went to work for his father. In the fall of 1977 the show returned with a new Chico (Whose character’s real name was Raul Garcia) played by twelve-year-old, Gabriel Melgar. Coincidentally this was the same time that Fonzie jumped the shark on Happy Days.

There are many shows that I grew up with that are being shown to a whole new generation on channels like TV Land. I wish that Chico and the Man was one of them. There are many stars that left us way too early who are getting fans who were not born when they were alive, thus giving them immortality. I want Freddie Prinze to be one of them and thanks to people like George Lopez, Jay Leno and Freddie Prinze Jr that might be possible.

To quote the Theme Song Lyrics,
Chico, don't be discouraged,
The Man he ain't so hard to understand.
Chico, if you try now,
I know that you can lend a helping hand.
Because there's good in everyone
And a new day has begun
You can see the morning sun if you try.
And I know, things will be better
Oh yes they will for Chico and the Man
Yes they will for Chico and the Man.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

The 2006 TV Land Awards.

A couple of weekends ago TV Land held a Sanford and Son marathon. I throughly enjoyed it. The only downside was that I couldn't get The Ink Spots’ song If I Didn’t Care out of my head when the marathon was over. I'm not complaining, in fact I got an article out of it (CHILD OF TELEVISION: If I didn't care). Last week TV Land aired the 2006 TV Land Awards. I thoroughly enjoyed that too. We live in a time where there is a glut of award shows. Their sole purpose is to cater to the lowest common denominator that wants to see celebrities in designer gowns and tuxedoes walking the red carpet. The TV Land Awards stands apart. Sure the TV Land Awards do have their cheesy moments like some of the over rehearsed or over produced acceptance speeches. Or when two of the three nominees for an award are dead and the sole survivor winds up winning. But what makes the TV Land Awards different? Most award shows will feature several artists in one category whose work from the past year is in competition with each other, and somewhere in the show there is one award dedicated to an individual's lifetime achievement. The TV Land Awards really honors classic TV stars, shows and the individuals whose work has endured the test of time and they dedicate one award to a current show that is sure to be a Future Classic (This year it was Grey's Anatomy).

Other awards included The Pioneer Award presented to Sid Caesar, The Pop Culture Award presented to Dallas, The Legend Award presented to Cheers, and the Impact Award presented to Good Times. Every year TV Land Awards open with a medley of TV theme songs either sung by the artist who originally recorded the song or show's stars. For me the highlight this year was José Feliciano performing the theme to Chico and the Man.

Oh Great, now I can't get that song that song out of my head.

Since the term classic is often misused I decided to quote Dictionary.com/classic,
clas·sic adj.
a. Belonging to the highest rank or class.
b. Serving as the established model or standard: a classic example of colonial architecture.
c. Having lasting significance or worth; enduring.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa