Monday, March 28, 2005

The Anchorman.

"Whatever the story, I had only one objective: to get it right. When I failed it was personally painful and there was no greater urgency than course correction. On those occasions I was grateful for your forbearance and always mindful that your patience and attention didn't come with a lifetime warranty."
Tom Brokaw
On his last "Nightly News" broadcast.
December 1st 2004

"Courage. For the CBS Evening News, Dan Rather reporting. Goodnight."
Dan Rather
On his last "CBS Evening News" broadcast.
March 9th 2005

"Give news a little more time and don't request that they also, in their news time, entertain. We're not entertainers. We're journalists. And we need more time to do our job well."
Walter Cronkite
With CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer about Dan Rather and the news industry today.


"I know I probably shouldn't make fun of the TV news people in Los Angeles since they have just gone through the same earthquake that we did, but then I remember that they gave us 2 years of O.J., so screw em!! After all, the news people have just gone through the same quake we did, and while still in a state of shock, they have to rush to the studio where their news director flings them in front of the camera with no make up no wardrobe and no teleprompter, and until they can get some kind of official word from cal tech they are told to stall, this is when we find out who was a broadcast journalism major and who was the first runner up in the Miss America pageant."
Tony Figueroa's
Stand-Up Routine


I have been thinking a lot about the role of the news anchor lately as well as the state of the news media. CHILD OF TELEVISION: If it wasn't for bad news, I wouldn't have any news at all. I do not judge the news anchor by the way that he or she reads a teleprompter, even though that is a very important job skill. Nor would I judge the news anchor by the way that he or she conducts an interview even though that too is a very important job skill. A good interviewer does not necessarily make a good anchor. I do judge the news anchor by how they handle themselves when they have to stall. It is not everyone who can address a local or national audience while not knowing what is going to happen next and can not only convey what information they do have, but to also do it with a sense of calm.

As a child in the 70s, when there were only three broadcast networks and no cable news outlets, the network news anchor was a trusted member of the family... "Uncle Walter". Look at the way Walter Cronkite let the country know that J.F.K. had died or that Neil Armstrong touched down on the moon. Walter Cronkite and his predecessor Edward R. Morrow were not always unbiased, but then again I'd say if you're witnessing the worst that humanity has to offer, you are entitled to comment on it once and a while. Also the news media in Morrow and Cronkite's time was not nearly as competitive then as it is now and I admit that I do not watch a lot of network news.

As for Dan Rather, for the most part, I do respect his body of work. I feel that Dan Rather, walking off the news set in anger after CBS delayed the broadcast for a tennis match in 1987 leaving 6 minutes of dead air was a bigger violation of the public trust than "Memo Gate". I choose to believe that the now infamous memo was a big mistake, but I don't want to see that event or the 6 minutes of dead air to be his epitaph. Some people believe that Mr. Rather was trying to make news rather than just reporting it. I think that some people want to make this issue more about politics than journalism.

To quote Linda Elerbe, "And so it goes".

Stay Tuned



Tony Figueroa

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: Crossing Jordan

CHILD OF TELEVISION: My message to "The Parents Television Council".

When I started writing this column, it wasn’t to be an anti "Parents Television Council" forum, but as I said in my Pre-ramble "I live in Hollywood, California and am tired of members of my community being described as amoral and trying to undermine the fabric of the American family". In fact I sincerely hope that some day we will find ourselves on the same side. In your mission statement you state, "The PTC's primary mission is to promote and restore responsibility and decency to the entertainment industry in answer to America's demand for positive, family-oriented television programming. The PTC does this by fostering changes in TV programming to make the early hours of prime time family-friendly and suitable for viewers of all ages. We serve as the conscience of the entertainment industry and corporate advertisers who sponsor broadcast content." FAQs About the Parents Television Council. In my opinion, your intentions are noble, but your execution is flawed.
A few weeks ago I was on the Parents Television Council web site researching for another article and I saw that an episode of the medical drama "CROSSING JORDAN" titled "MURDER IN THE RUE MORGUE" was voted the "Worst TV Show of the Week". Crossing Jordan - Worst Family TV Shows of the Week. I had seen that episode and enjoyed it. I had to read further.
Aubree Bowling mentions, on your site, the name of the show, the episode title, the date the episode aired (January 9), the network the show aired on (NBC) and even some of the stars. What was not mentioned was it’s TV rating (TV-14) or it’s time slot (10pm-9pm central) not "the early hours of prime time" that’s mentioned in your mission statement. If you look at the shows listings on the NBC web site NBC.com > > Episode Guide you will see the show's ratings, it's time slot and a synopsis that gives enough detail on the episode with out revealing the mystery that is playing out. In my opinion, parents were sufficiently warned as to what they were about to see. If you are a parent who lets your small child see this show (on a "School Night"), then shame on you. In my opinion, the PTC won’t admonish parents for watching inappropriate programs because that could cause them to loose members and support.
Aubree Bowling also wrote, "But to involve innocent child actors in the dramatic process not only creates an extra-disturbing episode; it also can negatively affect the young actors and actresses." I didn't know that the PTC was also a child actor advocacy group. I did not see any mention of the show on the "A Minor Consideration" web site A Minor Consideration Website. Many times when you see children in "an extra-disturbing episode" it's really a baby faced adult (kind of like the cops on "21 Jump Street"). Casting breakdowns will read, "18 to play younger". Also looking out for the child's interest on the set are Social Workers, Network Standards and Practices Representatives, Studio Teachers (The studio teacher may refuse to allow the engagement of a minor on a set or location and may remove the minor therefrom, if in the studio teacher's judgment, conditions are such as to present a danger to the health, safety and morals of the minor.) SAG 24/7: Screen Actors Guild - YoungPerformersDB and the child's parents.
In my opinion there are bigger threats to children than a TV show. The Internet for example exposes children to imagery that they would never see even on cable. Sexual predators use the Internet to prey on children as depicted in many TV crime dramas. NBC (the network that brings you Crossing Jordan) does a series of public service announcements "The More You Know" where they discuss a variety of issues including Internet safety NBC.com > The More You Know In my opinion the PTC does want to address Internet related issues because that may force parents to confess their computer illiteracy. The same way parents have to admit that their kids mastered the V chip before they could. CHILD OF TELEVISION: "V" is for Chip. That admission could cause them to loose members and support.
In my opinion the PTC would rather ride the wave of a popular TV show thus being able to condemn the show while hitting the talk show circuit. I find this behavior similar to a serial killer that goes after celebrities in order to take their fame. This whorish behavior is no better than someone who is willing to eat an animal part that the butcher would normally throw out, just to be on TV. In my opinion the Parents Television Council lacks the moral high ground to judge people who work in television. On the bright side, being The Parents Television Council’s "Worst TV Show of the Week" may be the new "Banned in Boston", and be the best free publicity for the show. Kring crosses into new deal at NBC Uni TV
To quote Dennis Miller, "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."
Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

PS: If you’re a "Crossing Jordan" fan check out Nigel's Blog.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Comedy Grievances. (Click POPDCAST)

co·me·di·an
Pronunciation: k&-'mE-dE-&n
Function: noun

1 archaic a : a writer of comedies b : an actor who plays comic roles
2 : a comical individual; specifically : a professional entertainer who uses any of various physical or verbal means to be amusing

I felt the need to open with the actual definition of a comedian because I think that we have forgotten what a comedian does. Lately I’ve seen many comedians being punished for doing their job or not being allowed to do their job at all. One comedic vehicle is throwing a pie in somebody’s face whether it be a literal pie as in the case of Soupy Sales, or a metaphorical pie as in the case of countless other comedians. Whether it is deserved or not, somebody has to take a pie in the face. But comedians are the only performers who can be professionally harmed for doing their job to the best of their ability. Several names come to mind Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, The Smothers Brothers, George Carlin and Bill Maher. I fear that we are going back to the time of Lenny Bruce where people are taking inventory of the words that he used and did not listen to what he had to say. There is a perception that comedians are subversive. Well they are. Who else but humorists are able to find flaws in the status quo? Before things get any worse I filed the following grievance.

Grievant: Comedians Everywhere
Date Filed: 3/15/2005
Filed By: Tony Figueroa
Incident Date: Ongoing
Person(s) Who Have Had Dialogue Concerning this Grievance: The Uptight, Self-Righteous, Morally Superior and Overly Sensitive.
Violation(s):
1, Not being taken seriously:
Issue Nature and History:
Not being taken seriously is nothing new to comedians. If Groucho Marx would insult a waiter who was giving him bad service, the waiter would be honored to have been insulted by Groucho. Personally I had trouble being taken seriously when I tried to get a credit card or a car loan. The Daily show’s Jon Stewart recently appeared on CNN's "Crossfire" and tried to engage in the discussion but was expected only to tell jokes. Jon Stewart Crossfire Transcript

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

2, Admonished for using levity or "What are you a comedian?"
Issue Nature and History:
Comedians are the only performers who can be admonished for doing their job, and will get in even more trouble if they say, "Just kidding", "It's a joke!" or the classic "F**k em if they can't take a joke." Sure comedians like all creative people do take creative risks that push the envelope or cross the line. It’s what they do. Lately certain parties do not want comedians to do their job.
Jay Leno’s gag order bared anyone connected to the Michael Jackson case from publicly discussing testimony or evidence so Jay could not do any Michael Jackson Jokes in his monologue.
Chris Rock was expected to not be like Chris Rock while hosting the Oscars. The only thing worse than Chris Rock toning down his jokes is Sean Penn not getting his toned down jokes.
Robin Williams had to cut out his comedic song about cartoon characters during the Oscar telecast. The song included the lines, "Olive Oyl is really anorexic" and "Pocahontas is addicted to craps". The song was cut for fear that it may offend anorexics, Native Americans and conservative critic James C. Dobson who claimed that Sponge Bob Square Pants is gay.

3, Defending comedy. Why is that funny?
Issue Nature and History:
Just because you don’t get the joke, does not mean that it is not funny. It’s just not funny to you. Maybe you are the butt of the joke. Maybe you are a prude and need to lighten up. Maybe you are too stupid to get it. I had this coworker who was reading some "Far Side" books someone brought in. She kept turning the pages saying, "I don’t get it" "I don’t get it" "I don’t get it". You see, first of all, cows don’t talk!
Sarah Silverman was on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and joked that she had been called for jury duty but didn't want to serve. Her friend said, 'Why don't you write something inappropriate on the form, like 'I hate chinks'? But I don't want people to think I was racist, so I just filled out the form and I wrote 'I love chinks.' And who doesn't?" The audience laughed, but Sarah had to answer to Guy Aoki, president and co-founder of the Media Action Network for Asian-Americans on the show "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and explain why the joke is funny to a humorless person with an agenda.

Suggested Remedy:
Lighten the hell up! Comedy is an art form and like any art form it is subjective.
Those who joke about the O.J. Case are not insensitive to murder and spousal abuse.
Those who joke about the Michael Jackson case are not insensitive to child molestation.
Those who joke about the Martha Stewart case are not insensitive to K-Mart shoppers.
Censuring art in any form is a violation of the artist’s freedom of expression.
Trying to sanitize comedy is like putting pants on Michelangelo's David, but there are still people who want a detailed explanation as to why something is funny. Well there’s Low Brow Comedy: comedy that comes from the gut. Usually in the forms of parody, pun, or farce. Then there’s High Brow Comedy: comedy that comes from the brain, usually in the forms of Wit, humor, irony, or satire. But these findings are inconclusive and not very funny because to quote Theodore White, "A joke is like a frog. If you want, you can dissect it to see how the parts fit together and understand what makes it all work. But the frog tends to die in the process".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Monday, March 14, 2005

Never Judge a show by it’s Pilot: Law & Order: Trial by Jury

"In the Criminal Justice System, all defendants are innocent until proven guilty, either by confession, plea bargain, or trial by jury. This is one of those trials"

I am a big fan of the "Law & Order" franchise. So when I heard that there was going to be another series, I was excited for two reasons. The first reason was that unlike the other spin-offs that focus on the point-of-view police detectives, "Law & Order: Trial by Jury" will focus on the judicial system told from the point-of-view of the prosecutors, defense attorneys, judges and jurors. The second reason was that Jerry Orbach was going to be on the show playing Lennie Briscoe. Lennie Briscoe was my favorite part of the original series. CHILD OF TELEVISION: A case of life imitating art... NOT!

When I saw the pilot (The Abominable Showman), I was happy to see many familiar faces like Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston), District Attorney Arthur Branch (Fred Dalton Thompson), Judge Amanda Anderlee (Candice Bergen) and Lennie Briscoe (the late Jerry Orbach). I also enjoyed the new characters Assistant District Attorney, Tracey Kibre (Bebe Neuwirth), Assistant District Attorney, Kelly Gaffney (Amy Carlson) and Briscoe’s partner, DA Investigator Hector Salazar (Kirk Acevedo). But I was also concerned for two reasons. First I could hear something that I hear others say when reading one of my scripts, "The people from Iowa want to see more action, not just see talking heads". Hey, I never saw it hurt "The West Wing". My other concern was that the Jerry Orbach fans might not stay with the show. Even though he was showing signs of his illness, Jerry Orbach was still Lennie. Overall I liked the show. It had brilliant writing and acting, something that I see less and less of on TV. The show exceeds my expectations for a Dick Wolf production, and as a fan I want to see it succeed, but I never judge a show by it’s pilot.

The second episode (Forty-One Shots) I thought was better than the pilot. I was glued to the screen. The best part was the reading of the verdict seen through the eyes of Lennie Briscoe (in what would be Orbach’s final scene) and his fellow officers. Again it had brilliant writing and acting, but I wanted to see an episode without Briscoe

The third episode (Vigilante) introduces a new character Detective Chris Ravell (Scott Cohen). Even though he did a great job, it was obvious that he was filling in a void left by Orbach, but I fully understand the circumstances. Sill the show exceeds my expectations for a Dick Wolf production. Fortunately Dick Wolf created a franchise with story based shows that allow for cast changes without hurting the quality of the show. I look forward to the next episode.

To quote Lennie Briscoe, "Cuff him. And if he tries to resist, shoot him!"

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Friday, March 11, 2005

Dysfunctional Family Hour (Click PODCAST)

I have been hearing the term "Family Hour" being used, or misused lately in regards to obscenity on television. I found that people have their own definition of the "Family Hour". For example maintaining the hours from 8-9 PM (the first hour of primetime) to programming suitable for children or placing limits on creative freedom. When I surfed the net I also found definitions of the "Family Hour", but again they were based more on opinion/agenda than on fact. The best definition I found was from the Museum of Broadcast Communications. Family Viewing Time

After talking to people and reading a great deal of material I have come to some conclusions.

A good portion of our Broadcasting Regulations stems from a joke. I'm not saying that these standards are a joke, although some of them come close. Ironically they actually comes from George Carlin's comedy routine on the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". This routine appeared on his Class Clown album. I'd like to think that is an example of the power of comedy but it's because radio station WBAI (a Pacifica Radio Station in New York City) played similar routine, "Filthy Words," from George Carlin's Occupation: Foole album over the air. The broadcast was then brought to the attention of the FCC. Pacifica received a citation from the FCC, which sought to fine Pacifica for allegedly violating FCC regulations which prohibited broadcasting "obscene" material. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the FCC action, by a vote of 5 to 4, ruling that the routine was "indecent but not obscene," and the FCC had authority to prohibit such broadcasts during hours when children were likely to be among the audience. FCC v. Pacifica Foundation , 438 U.S. 726 (1978).

The "Family Hour" in Television has not been in effect for almost 30 years. Even thought the networks attempted a self imposed "Family Hour", Television Broadcasting is a business that has become more competitive since the "Family Hour" began with twice as many networks, countless cable channels and a booming Home Video/DVD market.

Terms like "Appropriate Family Viewing" are open to interpretation, and there are many interpretations.

There will always be a battle between the morality and children's advocates and the creative talents who bring us these shows. The morality and children's advocates will want to see more restrictions that go beyond the hours between 8 and 9 PM on the broadcast stations and are now even targeting the cable channels. The Creative talents, who by their nature will want to express their creative freedom, push the envelope and defend their First Amendment Rights. If you read my Bio you know whom I side with. Blogger: User Profile: Tony Figueroa

But I want to give you my own definition of the "Family Hour", and this is solely based on my memories as a child in the 1970's.

The first time I heard the term "Family Hour" was in regards to a controversy involving Cher showing her bellybutton on her variety show.

I remember the "Family Hour" as the early evening hours when there were shows that appealed to (not sanitized for) all members of the family. "Happy Days" was a great example. I thought "The Fonz" was cool and my mother was nostalgic for the 50's. If there was a joke or a reference to the 50's that I didn't get, she would explain it to me.

I remember watching regular programming and talking about the show afterward. Some times if the show was going to feature the characters discussing subjects like divorce, drugs or teen pregnancy there would be a mention of it in the TV Guide and a mention of it prior to the shows opening where parents were encouraged to watch the show with their children.

My mother did not have a Ratings System, V chip, or The Parent’s Television Counsel to tell her what I should or should not watch. All she had was common sense and a TV Guide, and we didn't pick up the TV Guide every week. Sometimes she would say, "That show is on past your bedtime", "You are too young to see that show" or "That show is so stupid. It will ROT YOUR BRAIN".

I won’t quote George Carlin’s "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television", but I will give you a link where you can also find the whole routine Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television . Instead I will quote Oliver Wendell Holmes JR, "You cannot define obscenity without being obscene".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Monday, March 07, 2005

"V" is for Chip.

In the late 80’s I had a day job working at Radio Shack. Many times parents would come in to the store and ask if there was a device that they could hook up to their TV so their kid’s wouldn’t watch the TV, watch certain channels, watch certain shows or just not watch TV before doing their homework. At the time there wasn’t any technology to do that. When I was a kid if my parents told me not to watch TV, guess what, I didn’t watch TV, my co-workers concurred. There was no need for technology to do the parent's job for them.

A Parent once told me, "I’m not for censorship, I just want Hollywood not to make shows (or movies) that would corrupt our children to begin with". A compromise was made. In the mid 1990s the broadcasting industry created a voluntary ratings system intended to accompany all television programming. This ratings system is known as "TV Parental Guidelines". A monitoring board ensures that the ratings guidelines are applied accurately and consistently across the television-programming spectrum. Rating labels appear in the corner of your television screen during the first 15 seconds of each television program as well as in the television listings of many newspapers. The labels were created to help parents determine which programs provide suitable viewing for their children. Each label corresponds to the degree, if any, of the following content contained in the designated program: Violence (V), Sex (S), coarse Language (L), and sexual Dialogue (D). I'm sure parents often disagreed with the monitoring boards determination, because they might have a stronger sense of what is suitable viewing for their children. I'll bet the TV ratings system works as well as the movie rating system. I constantly see parents bring the little ones to a "PG-13", "NC-17" or "R" rated movie. Even though in the lobby of the theater there are explanations of the ratings systems with cute illustrations for the illiterate parent. So parents once again demanded that Hollywood not make certain shows that would corrupt their children. Hollywood compromised with new technology that could to do the parent’s job for them. Enter the V-chip. The V-chip lets parents block television programming they don't want their children to watch by electronically reading television-programming ratings and allowing parents to block programs they believe are unsuitable for their children. But little Timmy mastered the V-chip technology faster than his parents did. So parents once again demanded that Hollywood not make certain shows that would corrupt their children. I have two observations here. First, a big complaint that parents have about TV shows is that the children are depicted as being smarter than their parents are. That complaint looses credibility when you admit that little Timmy has mastered the V-chip technology faster than his parents did. Second, parents are outraged over the fact that little Timmy mastered the V-chip faster than they did, but find it funny that little Timmy can open Mommy’s child proof bottle of Prozac when Mommy can’t figure out the child proof cap herself. So something that could kill little Timmy takes a back seat to a TV show.

To quote WKRP in Cincinnati’s Les Nessman (Richard Sanders), "In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he'd take two armoured calvalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I'm a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It's all so simple somehow".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Friday, March 04, 2005

The FCC Saved Private Ryan.

"The horror of war and the enormous personal sacrifice it draws on cannot be painted in airy pastels. The true colors are muddy brown and fire red, and any accurate depiction of this significant, historical tale could not be told properly without bringing that sense to the screen,"
FCC Chairman Michael K. Powell

The Federal Communications Commission acknowledged that the ABC affiliates that aired "Saving Private Ryan" on Veterans Day did not violate the government's decency standards because the language used in the film is not indecent, given the context in which it was presented. 'Private Ryan' not indecent, FCC rules - The Washington Times: Business - March 01, 2005. Gee guys, you didn't have to rush. I think that you would have come to the same conclusion if on Veterans Day if you gave an intern a DVD of the movie and locked her in a room for two hours.

Upon receiving this news, I was instantly transported back to a surreal time.

"Sherman set the Wayback Machine to November 2004".

On Election Day, November 2nd, the exit polls were optimistic. We invited some friends over to watch the returns. I bought a bottle of champagne and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Depending on who won the election, one of those bottles would be opened. Every time Ohio was mentioned on the news, everyone in the room gave my wife Donna (Cincinnati Girl) a dirty look. I should have started a drinking game where every time a commentator said Ohio, Battleground State or too close to call, we would have to take a shot.

The next day we were off to Ohio to visit my wife’s family. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We’d leave the day after Election Day. How complicated could it be? A few days after I booked the flight on Orbits, we started hearing things like "Ohio is gonna be the next Florida". When we arrived in Ohio, I called my mom in California who was devastated by the election results. She wanted to know if we were participating in the recount protests at the Cincinnati Board of Elections. This was the first we'd heard of any such protest. The local media (TV and print) had not mentioned anything about them. The newscasters sounded like they were in that Twilight Zone episode "It's a Good Life". The Twilight Zone: It's a Good Life - TV Tome. It's very good that you made Bush win Anthony. Now wish the Democrats into the cornfield. (The story takes place in Peaksville, Ohio)

A few days later on Veteran’s Day we were going to watch "Saving Private Ryan", but the Cincinnati ABC affiliate refused to air the movie because the "F" word was used twice. The same channel whose newscasters presented the Bush victory as a great thing was now afraid to air "Saving Private Ryan" for fear of what the Bush appointed FCC chairman might do. This is crazy. If someone from my Blue State of California said something critical of the current war, someone from the Red State of Ohio would say, "YOU DON’T SUPPORT THE TROOPS!!!" But I think you insult our troops by not showing a great film that honors everyone who has ever served our country because the "F" word is used and our kids might hear it. This ABC affiliate seems to be okay with our kids seeing all the blood and guts though. So instead we went to see Lewis Black in concert. The Official Website for Comedian Lewis Black. It was like every freethinking liberal in Ohio was there. If you ever get to see Lewis Black Live in concert, go. He opened the show responding to the Cincinnati ABC affiliate not showing "Saving Private Ryan" with something like, "YOU PEOPLE ARE F***ING NUTS!!!" Or was he responding to the way people in Cincinnati put chili on spaghetti? No one in the audience thought his language was indecent, given the context in which it was presented. We are entering very dangerous territory when we look at a great piece of filmmaking like "Saving Private Ryan", or a brilliant comedian like Lewis Black and just take inventory of the words and not pay attention to the context.

In defense of my wife's hometown and home state, there are many kind generous people there. Many wondered how Bush had carried Ohio. Something for us to remember. There are a lot of people in the red states who think like people in the blue states. In the airport gift shop, I saw a little stuffed winged pig with the motto, "Ohio... Where pigs fly." After gathering our luggage at LAX, we stepped outside to find a cab. I took a deep breath, and gagged. It was great to be home.

To quote Lewis Black on the ABC affiliates choosing not to air "Saving Private Ryan" because of foul language: "What do you think they said when they hit the beach, 'Oh, pussyfeathers?!' "

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa