O Brothers, Where Art Thou? (Click PODCAST)

Tom & Dick Smothers

Last December I wrote an article titled "Where’s Norman Lear now that we need him?" where I said,

"Where are today’s Norman Lears, Larry Gelbarts and Susan Harriss? People who used comedy to talk about war, prejudice, and the issues of the day". Now don't shout out your answers, it’s a rhetorical question. I know where they are. They're telling stories in coffeehouses. They're making underground comedy albums that make fun of the current administration. They're in 99 seat houses doing controversial plays. They’re everywhere just not on TV. Why? Some say that it’s the dumming down of the TV viewer who would rather see a bikini clad girl in a tank filled with electric eels or a guy eating goat testicles than something that requires them to think. In the process, this puts talented actors and writers out of work. Others feel that in this current political climate anything topical especially when it is mocking or criticizing the current administration is considered dissent, treasonous or just down right Un-American. We can debate this forever, but the third and most practical reason is that this is a business and topical sit-coms do not do well in syndication where the money is."

The closest thing that I have found to Norman Lear, Larry Gelbart or Susan Harris on the air today is Seth MacFarlane the creator/writer/director, and voice of Peter, Stewie, Brian, Quagmire, Tom Tucker, and various background characters on the animated TV series Family Guy. Seth MacFarlane is also the creator/writer/director and voice of Stan, Roger, and various background characters on the animated TV series American Dad!. Did I mention these were animated TV shows? Don’t get me wrong, I like these shows and I love cartoons (In fact I’m surprised that I have not dedicated a column just to animation). I just want to see this type of cutting edge comedy on live action TV. These two shows also made the Parents Television Council "Worst TV Show of the Week" list.
Family Guy - Worst Family TV Shows of the Week
American Dad on Fox - Worst Family TV Shows of the Week
Making the PTC "Worst TV Show of the Week" list is like being on Nixon’s Hit List.

Speaking of being on Nixon’s "Hit List", I was watching a documentary titled Smothered: The Censorship Struggles of the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Here are two people who fall under the category of "People who used comedy to talk about war, prejudice, and the issues of the day". For some if you mention the Smothers Brothers they will think of Tommy’s famous punch line, "Mom liked you best" or the Yo Yo man. Others may look at the Smothers Brothers the same way they look at Lenny Bruce, seeing the controversy over the content. This documentary covers the life of a show that CBS could easily put together in a short amount of time and stick in the Sunday night 9PM death slot against "Bonanza" on NBC. Since the network did not have a great deal of faith in the show success in that death slot, they gave Tom Smothers creative control. Long story short, Tommy decides to go for broke and tries to do something different from other Comedy Variety shows of the time by hiring writers (including Stan Burns, Bob Einstein, Mike Marmer, Steve Martin, Lorenzo Music, Rob Reiner, Murray Roman , Norman Sedawie and Mason Williams ) who were outspoken members of the counterculture movement. Tommy invited counterculture musical guests like Pete Seeger (singing "Knee Deep in the Big Muddy") Jefferson Airplane, the Doors and Joan Baez (who wanted to dedicate a song to her draft-resisting husband who was about to go to prison for his political views). The show also had a cast of regulars including Pat Paulsen, Leigh French as Goldie O'Keefe (Share a Little Tea with Goldie) and Bob Einstein as Officer Judy. Whenever something on the show got censored, The Brothers went to the press and let America know what they missed. Just to make things more confusing, the shows hosts were two clean cut looking "All-American" boys (and what could be more "All American" than defending free speech.) On stage Tommy played the simpleton, but in reality he was the brains of the outfit. And "Establishment" entertainers like Kate Smith, Bob Hope, Jack Benny George Burns and Jimmy Durante supported the show by being on it. The closest thing that I have found to The Smothers Brothers today is "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart". Even SNL’s or MAD TV’s edge is not nearly as sharp.

The documentary also highlights a skit that the censors cut featuring Tommy and Elaine May as two censors. I contacted the people at the Smothers Brothers Home Page and asked if there was a copy of the skit anywhere. They answered with,

"There were actually three skits recorded for the same show but they didn't air due to censorship. Tom and Dick would love to see The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour shows rerun on television and/or released on home video/dvd. So far we have been unable to arrange this because of the high upfront residual and music publishing costs. We'll keep on trying and when we're successful, we'll announce it on the Home Page of our website at www.smothersbrothers.com. The Elaine May skits will definitely be included in any new releases."

I look forward to seeing these shows on DVD and think that they could be a great teaching tool when covering 1960s America. If you think that I am exaggerating, just remember the show has historical significance that goes beyond television because they ran Pat Paulsen for president.

Finally there is a fundamental rule that I should add to my list of Comedy Grievances and that is to remind people that they should never piss off Humorists (that includes Comedians, Comedy Writers or Cartoonist) because they will always have the last laugh.

To quote Tommy Smothers, "The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial."

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

The Beauty of The Munsters & The Addams Family. (Click PODCAST)

I do not want to repeat my Blake vs. Potter debate, but comparing "The Addams Family" to "The Munsters" is like comparing "Laverne & Shirley" to "Cagney & Lacey". Other than the fact that these were macabre sit-coms mocking the nuclear families that were on the air at the time, these two shows and families were very different. For example if Eddie Munster (Butch Patrick) wanted to join the Boy Scouts his parents Herman & Lily (Fred Gwynne and Yvonne De Carlo) would be thrilled where as if Pugsley Addams (Ken Weatherwax) wanted to join the Boy Scouts his parents Gomez & Morticia (John Astin & Carolyn Jones) would be mortified and hope that this was just a phase. If there was an explosion in Grandpa’s (Al Lewis) laboratory, it would be an accident with humorous consequences, where as if there was an explosion in Uncle Fester's (Jackie Coogan) room, it would be expected and encouraged behavior. If Herman got sick he would go to his family doctor (Paul Lynde) who had just sent his eyeglasses out to be repaired. The doctor would then perform Herman's entire examination with out being able to see him and receiving the repaired glasses in time to say goodbye then mayhem ensues. If Gomez got sick he would contact his family which doctor and because of his massive wealth he did not have to worry about whether or not the which doctor was covered under his HMO.

The Addams Family

THE ADDAMS FAMILY debuted on ABC on September 18 1964, and ran through September 2, 1966. The show was based on Charles Addams' dark, warped and funny comic strip created for the "New Yorker" magazine. Charles Addams named the characters for the TV show. The episodes were written by Nat Perrin who had written several Marx Brothers movies. (Come to think of it Gomez had some Groucho Marx qualities). One of my favorite elements of the show was the brilliant use of sound effects like in the days of radio comedy, thus requiring the audience to use their imagination. An example of this was when a houseguest saw Kitty (a lion). All you heard was a roar followed by a running sound effect followed by a door slam. In fact I would love to perform some of the old TV show scripts as a radio comedy. The show mocked other TV families by being their polar opposite. This family would do everything from sword fight to blowing up model trains in the middle of their own living room. If "Fear Factor" was around then, they would have the home version. I don't think anybody knew where John Aston began and Gomez ended. Everything gave him a rush and his love for Morticia can only be described as horney monogamy. With all the craziness the show had moral high ground. Not only did you see a loving family where the parents were not afraid to show affection in front of the kids, you got to see so called "normal people" compromise their principles in order to do business with Gomez followed by humorous consequences.

The Munsters

THE MUNSTERS debuted on CBS on September 24, 1964 and ran through September 1, 1966.
This show mocked other TV families by having a family of classic movie monsters emulate them. The show was developed, written, and produced by Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher (The same team created, wrote and produced "Leave It to Beaver"). The Show is a brilliant mix of three key ingredients.

1. The classic Universal Studios Monsters from the 1930 & 40's (that were finding a whole new audience thanks to Saturday Matinee "Creature Features" on TV)
   
2. The placing of these monsters in the world of "Leave it to Beaver" (In fact the Munster's house is still across the street from the Cleaver's house on the Universal Back Lot only now "Desperate Housewives" have moved in).
   
3. The "Normal People" reactions to our family similar to those seen in Casper cartoons.

The patriarch is the Frankenstein monster who married Dracula's daughter and live in the states as an "Typical American Family". There is more to Herman than a big stupid baby who throws tantrums by saying, "Darn! Darn! Darn! Darn!" Here is a character that is the Frankenstein monster, but he really thinks he is Fred MacMurray from "My Three Sons". Fred Gwynne could deliver Ward Cleaver (Hugh Beaumont) type dialogue totally straight and was incredibly funny doing it. He was also able to play the stooge to Al Lewis in one scene, and then straight man to guest stars Paul Lynde or Harvey Korman in another. Al Lewis' Grandpa was and will always the most unique interpretation of the Dracula character since Bram Stoker first created him. Again I don't know where Al Lewis begins and Grandpa AKA The Count AKA Sam Dracula (I guess the guys at Ellis Island could not spell Vladimir) ends. Like Dracula he has found immortality. On April 30th he turned 95 years old.

Because of the macabre settings of the show, I think the writers were able to slip things under the censor’s radar. The wild look in Gomez’s eyes when he and Morticia played with whips and chains came very close to S&M. "The Munsters" did jokes about Vietnam, nuclear war and drugs. Herman & Lily were also the first TV couple to sleep in the same bed while Gomez & Morticia had twin beds of nails.

Grandpa: Hmm. What smells so good?
Herman: I cut myself shaving.

Morticia: Think of Romeo and Juliet.
Gomez: They died!
Morticia: Oh, but what fun they had those last three days.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Beam me up.

James Doohan
1920 - 2005

Thanks to this man I always multiply estimates by a factor of four. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Kirk: How long to re-fit?
Scotty: Eight weeks. But you don't have eight weeks, so I'll do it for you in two.
Kirk: Do you always multiply your repair estimates by a factor of four?
Scotty: How else to maintain my reputation as a miracle worker?
Kirk: Your reputation is safe with me.

Still my favorite Scotty quote is Scotty explaining how he got rid of the tribbles in Star Trek Episode 42, The Trouble with Tribbles, "Just before they went into warp, I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all."

Good Night Mr. Doohan. Your reputation is safe with me too.

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

My Sharona

Last Friday the USA Network aired the season premiere of Monk Titled Mr. Monk and the Other Detective (with guest star Jason Alexander). I have been a big fan of this show for awhile and last Friday's episode provided a welcome break from summer reruns. In my opinion Tony Shalhoub is one of the best actors on television playing one of the best characters on television. It takes a special talent to make Adrian Monk's obsessive compulsive behavior (caused by the tragic murder of his wife) funny. Can you imagine what the pitch meeting was like? Still the episode was missing something I had always enjoyed Monk's sidekick/nurse Sharona Fleming (Bitty Schram). I feel that it is too early in the show's run for it to Jump the Shark. Early on I had feared that the show might Jump the Shark by exploring a romantic relationship between Sharona and Adrian, or Sharona and Lieutenant Randy Disher (Jason Gray-Stanford). I know I am not the only one who wants Sharona to return, in fact I found an online petition to Bring Sharona Back To "Monk!" And people say that I have too much free time.

I know, "People who live in glass houses".

I have a great affection for characters who say what you are thinking or have the guts to say what you want to say but can't. The best part is that these characters can get away with it like we wish we could. We tend to forget that there is a team of talented writers who spend many hours creating these spontaneous lines for them to say. I wrote a spec script for Monk last year and my favorite part was writing Sharona's wisecracks. My wife told me that it was because I am Sharona. I think she meant to say, "I am a wisecracking sidekick trapped in a leading man’s body"

Finally my singing Bitty Sharam's praises is in no way shape or form is an attack on Traylor Howard who recently joined the show as Adrian's new girl Friday Natalie Teeger. When someone deserves the Dick Sergeant award I will say so. It can be a very risky career move to replace a beloved character on a show, especially a character with very big pumps to fill.

To quote Monk & Sharona,

MONK:Do you register to vote?
SHARONA: I never vote. It only encourages them.

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

Misplaced Keys.

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination, beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... The Twilight Zone."

Rod Serling

My day job requires me to work on the 4th of July, but it's okay since I get paid double-time on holidays. After a long day at work I came home and started my usual unwinding ritual of channel surfing. To my surprise, I found a Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci Fi Channel. I got to see some of my favorite episodes including A Stop At Willoughby, Mr. Bevis, A Hundred Yards Over The Rim, It's A Good Life, The Odyssey Of Flight 33 and Once Upon A Time. I loved tuning into an episode and see a character or characters out in the middle of nowhere be it the desert or a distant planet. A puff of smoke appears behind them, yet the characters do not acknologe the smoke, then the camera pans over to the side to reveal that the smoke came from Rod Serling's cigarette. The Twilight Zone is or was great television that can be boiled down to good stories, good writing and good acting.

I find it funny that many people today see television as pure escapism, not healthy entertainment, but escapism. They want to get lost in the lives of others whether they are real or fictional. These people do not care to use television to be informed enriched or educated. The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Playhouse 90 and other anthology series told great stories yet sadly they are no longer marketable since most of the television viewing public would rather see formulaic programming with reoccurring characters, and don’t even get me started on reality TV.

Is it that people are too lazy to escape reality or is it a narrow-minded escapism? You can’t unlock the door with the key of imagination when you have misplaced the keys and refuse to go look for them. To quote Rod Serling, "You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead— your next stop, the Twilight Zone!" It’s not like this type of travel requires airfare, a passport or a security check. So why are you placing boundaries on it?

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Check out Ernest Borgnine. "A 90-Second Story"

Ernest Borgnine as Lt. Cdr. Quinton McHale

NOTE: this story was originally written for the STORY SALON’S evening of 90-second stories June 29th 2005.

My wife Donna and I were grocery shopping at the old Hugh's market on Ventura & Coldwater Canyon in Studio City CA. We were heading to the checkout line. Donna, as always, has to go back to get one more thing. I reached the checkout line at the same time as McHale's Navy’s PT 73 commander, Ernest Borgnine.

Mr. Borgnine was gracious and asked me to go first. I responded with, "No Mr. Borgnine. By the time my wife comes back with the one more thing she went back for, you will be halfway to your car. So Ernest Borgnine is unloading his cart and starts pointing the prices on each item. "This is a good deal on ground round", "Hey 3 for a dollar", "Have you ever tried this?" Only in Hollywood.

With Mr. Borgnine's groceries bagged and ready to go, Donna shows up with the one more thing. Mr. Borgnine, my wife Donna. Donna, Ernest Borgnine. Mr. Borgnine says, "Nice to meet you," and leaves.

Donna asked, "What were we talking about with Ernest Borgnine?" I answered, "You".

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

Comedy Grievances "The PODCAST".

CHILD OF TELEVISION: Comedy Grievances was originally posted on Friday, March 18, 2005.

The PODCAST was recorded Friday June 24, at "Laugh Lines hosted by Dan Farren" as part of the ongoing shows at the STORY SALON. "Laugh Lines" is an evening where comedians tell stories about comedy.

To quote Theodore White, "A joke is like a frog. If you want, you can dissect it to see how the parts fit together and understand what makes it all work. But the frog tends to die in the process".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Blake vs. Potter (Click PODCAST)

Television has brought us many great debates and I'm not talking about the ones on C-SPAN. I am talking about private citizens gathered together to discuss important issues like:
Who was the better Darren on "Bewitched"? Dick York or Dick Sargent?

Who would you rather be with on "Gilligan's Island"? Ginger (Tina Louise) or Mary Ann (Dawn Wells)?

Who was the better Enterprise Captain? James T. Kirk (William Shatner on "Star Trek") or Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart on "Star Trek: The Next Generation").

These are the issues that men have dedicated countless hours (and beers) debating, and many times these debates ended in an impasse or last call. With many of these debates, I stand firm on my position, Dick York, Mary Ann and Capt. Kirk. Some of my positions are based solely on my opinion (Dick York and Capt. Kirk), while others (Mary Ann) are based on facts that I can present: Ginger represents the girls you have fun with, while Mary Ann represents the girls you marry. Inevitably I come up with a firm point of view except on one topic.

Who was the better commanding officer of the 4077 "M*A*S*H"? Lt. Col. Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson) or Col. Sherman Potter (Harry Morgan)?

At this point I get a bad case of writers block. I don't have a simple answer to the question. I get up from my desk and pace. I then go to the kitchen and do the dishes. Then I make coffee for the tomorrow morning. Then I take out the garbage. My wife likes it when I have writer’s block because it is the only time she can get me to do any household chores. And I have just spent a whole paragraph avoiding the question.

So why can I not give a simple answer to the question? Now I keep hearing William Shatner saying, "It's just a TV show!" Let me break it down.

There is one school of thought that says that M*A*S*H* "Jumped The Shark" when Col. Blake died. That the show shifted from it's original premise set by the movie with Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould that shows Army doctors who need to go crazy in order to keep from going insane. This same school of thought feels that after Henry Blake died the show was no longer as funny as it was before and became more self-righteous and preachy. Some of these people may have been turned off by what they felt was Alan Alda's liberal agenda.

Another school of thought is that the show improved with age and that they were able to evolve from Army doctors who get drunk and pull practical jokes to experimenting with new and creative forms of storytelling.

When we look at 11 seasons and over 250 episodes, the most talked about episodes are the ones that show what we now call out of the box thinking. There was the black and white episode where the characters are being interviewed by reporter Clete Roberts, the episode shot from the point of view of a patient, or the episode that takes place over the course of a year. These episodes all took place after the death of Henry Blake.

At this point in my writing I start to look for any distraction and discus the issue with a friend, who subscribes to the first school of thought, and found out that our views are not that different. My fried feels that the show "Jumped the Shark" when Frank Burns (Larry Linville) left the show while I feel that the show "Jumped the Shark" shortly thereafter when Hawkeye and Hot Lips (Loretta Swit) did it (another one of the more talked about episodes). That period in the show's history marked the end of any internal conflict amongst the ensemble, an element that was an important staple in the show.

I tend to favor the second school of thought but I appreciate and respect what the first school of thought has to offer as well. I also don't think that we can simply link the shows paradigm shift with the change of command at the 4077. Although the movie and the TV series were set during the Korean conflict, the movie and the early seasons of the series served as a metaphor for the Vietnam War. This included jokes directed at then VP Richard Nixon. By the time Mike Farrell and Harry Morgan replaced Wayne Rogers and McLean Stevenson, the Vietnam war was over, Nixon was out of the White house and M*A*S*H* shifted their focus from doctors rebelling against the army to the challenges of practicing medicine in a war zone. Sadly Henry's death while reminding us that there is a war going on also signaled that the party was over. Some of the irreverence, that subscribers of the first school of thought loved about the show, may not have died with Henry but died around the same time as Henry.

Still I have not answered the question. Who do I think was the better commanding officer of the 4077 M*A*S*H*? Lt. Col. Henry Blake or Col. Sherman Potter? It's a cop out to simply say that M*A*S*H* became a different show after the change of command thus being able to end the debate in a tie. So the best way to answer the question is to say, that even though Col. Potter was a more competent Military leader, I would have rather served under Col. Blake. I also want to add that I am grateful that I have never had to serve under either type of leader in a war zone. I have nothing but the utmost respect and gratitude to those who have. And I am sorry that there is nothing comparable to M*A*S*H* on the air today because we could certainly use it now.

To quote Lt. Col. Henry Blake, "Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one."

To quote Col. Sherman Potter, "There's a time to step in and a time to back off. Pull the reins too tight and the horse will buck. You had good people under you. You should of let them go through the paces. You know this is pretty good. Someone should be writing this down."
Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

PS: I prefer Diane Chambers (Shelley Long) over Rebecca Howe (Kirstie Alley) on "Cheers", Curly Howard was a funnier stooge than Shemp Howard and "Underdog" can kick Mighty Mouse's Ass in a fight because he’s a dog for God sake.

You're not dreaming... You're in Puerto Rico. (Click PODCAST)

The Coqui

Even thought I make my home in Hollywood California my heart does belong to my birthplace, Puerto Rico. Every time I have a chance to visit the place where I was born and where my Father's family comes from it overwhelms me.

So what does this have to do with Television? Well recently you have been seeing ads from the Puerto Rico Tourism Company (You're not dreaming... You're in Puerto Rico.) They show the island's beauty, but with all due respect to the people who produce the ads, they don't do the island justice. The ads do not capture the people on the island. The ad's show them as very attractive people and, that’s true but there is a hospitality that I have never seen anywhere else.

I took a long weekend to Puerto Rico and so I could celebrate my sister's major milestone birthday with my family. The night before the big party, I was with my father who wanted to watch the Cotto fight on HBO. We did not have HBO where we were staying so we went to a neighborhood sports bar, and they did not have HBO either. While walking back home we saw some guys who had just set up a TV in the parking lot of their apartment complex. They had fed extension cords and a coaxial cable from the upstairs apartment window to the parking lot below. The fight was just starting and my dad asked if we could watch the fight with them. They not only invited us in to watch the fight, they poured us a drink, gave us some snacks, and gave us the best seats in the parking lot. That's the part of my Puerto Rico that I want you to know about. These are the nicest people that you could ever meet. You will receive that same treatment whether you are Boricua like me returning home or, visiting there for the first time.

To quote the ad "You're not dreaming... You're in Puerto Rico."

PS: The next day we had a blast celebrating my sister’s birthday.

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

A quick note to the “PTC”. RE: That Paris Hilton hamburger ad. (Click PODCAST)

Once again as I said before, "When I started writing this column, it wasn’t to be an anti "Parents Television Council" forum".
CHILD OF TELEVISION: My message to "The Parents Television Council".
CHILD OF TELEVISION: Another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: Crossing Jordan
CHILD OF TELEVISION: And another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: TIME Magazine "The Decency Police"
CHILD OF TELEVISION: And still another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: The V-Chip and the TV Ratings System.

If you are not familiar with the Carl's Jr. commercial in question, click the link and come back.

After extensive study of this ad I have come to the conclusion that Paris Hilton is having a 3-way with a car and a burger. This leaves me with a very important decision make, whether to spend $6.00 on a burger or not.

I would like to make some other pragmatic observations.

1. I'd still rather see Paris Hilton wash a car than Ronald Mc Donald, Jack (from Jack in the box), or Dan the "Del Taco" guy.
2. The guy in the "Burger King" mask is more traumatizing to children, potentially appearing in their nightmares, than a woman washing a car while eating a $6.00 burger.
3. The more your group goes on TV to chastise Carl's Jr. and Hardees the more free publicity you give them.

Your organization on the web site PTC Calls Paris Hilton Ad for Carl’s Jr./Hardees Ultimate Example of Corporate Irresponsibility describes this commercial saying, "This is the ultimate example of corporate irresponsibility". Really? Does the name ENRON mean anything to you people? But lets just keep the discussion to the fast food industry. I encourage you to close shop for a day and rent the Academy Award nominated documentary "Super Size Me" and seriously reevaluate your priorities. Then if you still think "This is the ultimate example of corporate irresponsibility", then I say move over Burger King, because the PTC is the new "Home of the Whopper".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa