Must See Sabbath.

It bothers me immensely that whenever we have an Earthquake, Brushfire or Floods and Mudslides in California someone from the Bible belt is on TV saying, "You people in California are being punished for your sinful ways". I have to remind them that it wasn't that long ago when we were watching them on TV, sitting on their roof tops. As the mighty Mississippi River rose up through their homes to their attics.

I believe in God but I don’t see myself as a religious person. To me religion is like this endless array of middle managers keeping you from getting to the boss. And faith is knowing that his office on the top floor has an open door policy. I want a direct line to God. Like when Commissioner Gordon picked up the Bat Phone. To me religion becomes like God’s Answering Service.

Thank you for calling God. Due to the high volume of callers you may experience a delay of 2 millennia or you can choose the following options:
For Forgiveness press 1.
For Penance press 2.
For Blasphemy press pound, over and over and over again. Bingo.

I think what really makes my point is the Catholic Church advertising on MTV. Something’s wrong when a religion has to hire Madison Avenue ad executives to sell itself as if it was Diet Pepsi. All the salvation, Half the guilt! See, hundreds of years ago, I think people saw religion the same way we see television today. Must see Sunday. Look at the similarities. They cater to the lowest common denominator. They sell their product like it’s the greatest thing in the world. And they don’t require their audience to think. Religion had the Protestant Reform. TV had cable. We went from a handful of options to hundreds.

When television and religion coalesced somehow, against the laws of mathematics, the sum became less than its parts. Unfortunately you tune in to your religious leaders on TV in times of crisis and they will blame the problem on gays, feminists, the ACLU and the Teletubbies (Tinky Winky to be exact). Now some Christian groups are targeting SpongeBob SquarePants for promoting the Gay lifestyle Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge. I guess anyone who lives in a pineapple has got to be a bit fruity and yet no one has ever questioned Bert & Ernie living together on "Sesame Street.

I know some Christians (many of whom live here in Hollywood) who are tired of a handful of self appointed Christian representatives perpetuating a negative stereotype. Maybe it’s time that you do like we did in California and have them recalled.

To quote Archie Bunker on All in the Family, "God don’t make no mistakes-that’s how he got to be God".

Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa