Monday, May 30, 2005

This Is Supposed To Happen In Threes. (Click Podcast)

"I do not do hundreds of impressions. My entire repertoire of impressions numbers less than 50. I never set out to do an impression of a person. However, when something a star does suddenly sparks my imagination, I find myself doing an impression of him -- first for my amusement, later for my repertoire."
Frank Gorshin

There is some unwritten rule that says that celebrities die in threes, but last week (prior to the death of Eddie Albert) we lost four incredible voice talents.

Frank Gorshin died on May 17th in Burbank, California of lung cancer, emphysema and pneumonia. Most people knew Mr. Gorshin for his Emmy-nominated roles as the Riddler on the "Batman" TV series, and as Commissioner Bele in the very powerful "STAR TREK" episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" (he was the alien who had one side of his face painted black and the other side painted white). Mr. Gorshin was also a very talented impressionist, headlining in Las Vegas. He recently used his talents to play George Burns (with only a little makeup and no prosthetics) on Broadway in the one-man show "Say Goodnight Gracie". He has also voiced many animated characters including Deano Rat in "Firedog", Hugo Strange in "The Batman", Daffy Duck in "Superior Duck", and Yosemite Sam in "From Hare to Eternity".

Henry Corden died may 19th in Los Angeles, California of emphysema.
Mr. Corden took over as the voice of Fred Flintstone when the original voice, Alan Reed, died in 1977 (Reed had had the role since the show first aired in 1960). Mr. Corden began voice acting in the 1960's doing parts in Hanna-Barbera shows like "Jonny Quest," "Josie and the Pussycats" and "The New Tom & Jerry Show." He also played characters in "Challenge of the GoBots", "Mister T", "The All-New Scooby and Scrappy-Doo Show" "Here Comes Garfield", "The Smurfs", "Fangface and Fangpuss", "Heathcliff", "Thundarr the Barbarian", "The Challenge of the Super Friends", "Dynomutt, Dog Wonder", "Return to the Planet of the Apes", "These Are the Days", "Yogi's Gang", "The Harlem Globetrotters", "The Banana Splits Adventure Hour", "The Atom Ant/Secret Squirrel Show", and "The Jetsons". He can most recently be heard on cereal commercials as Fred Flintstone yelling "Barney, my Pebbles!"

Howard Morris died on May 21st in Los Angeles, California of a heart ailment. Mr. Morris is best remembered for playing Ernest T. Bass on "The Andy Griffith Show". Before that he was part of a comedy sketch group including Carl Reiner and Imogene Coca and did several TV variety shows, including "Admiral Broadway Review," "Your Show of Shows" and "Caesar's Hour." After his work on "The Andy Griffith Show" (as an actor and director), Mr. Morris was a regular voice in "Hanna-Barbera" cartoons from the 60's until present day where he voiced many characters such as Atom Ant in "The Atom Ant Show". He would also voice Beetle Bailey and General Halftrack in "Beetle Bailey and His Friends," and Jughead Jones and Big Moose Mason in "The Archie Show". In 1972, he directed some McDonaldland commercials and was the voice of the Hamburglar. Mr. Morris was also the voice of the Qantas koala.

Thurl Ravenscroft died May 22nd in Fullerton, California of prostate cancer. In 1952, Mr. Ravenscroft's voice appeared in the first Frosted Flakes commercial as Tony the Tiger. Mr. Ravenscroft also did voices for Disney Animated Classics like "Cinderella", "The Jungle Book," "Mary Poppins", "Alice in Wonderland", "Lady and the Tramp". He sang "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch" in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". Mr. Ravenscroft lent his voice to characters on several rides and attractions at Disneyland, including the Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, the Enchanted Tiki Room, the Mark Twain River Boat, Buff - the buffalo head in the Country Bear Jamboree, the Disneyland Railroad, It's a Small World, and the Haunted Mansion.

Even though I say goodnight to you gentlemen, your voices will live on forever.

To paraphrase Tony the Tiger, "They’re Great".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Saturday, May 28, 2005

It's not everyone who can play straight man to an entire town.

Eddie Albert bought the farm at the age of 99.

Good Night Eddie and enjoy the fresh air.


Stay Tuned

Tony Figueroa

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Not a Black and White Issue. (Click PODCAST)

If I were to ask what was the first TV program to show a mixed marriage, I'm sure that most people would say "The Jeffersons". True the show did feature an interracial couple (Tom and Helen Willis), but you’d be wrong.

Lucy & Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy) had a mixed marriage. Although they joked about their cultural differences, their racial diversity was never made an issue. The bigger issue at the time was CBS having concerns that America would not accept an "All American Girl" married to a Cuban bandleader, regardless of the fact that Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz had been married in real life for 13 years.

"The Munsters" (Fred Gwynne & Yvonne De Carlo) were a mixed marriage of a vampire (descended from nobility) and the Frankenstein monster. Because the characters were monsters, their diversity was never made an issue either. Nor was it made an issue that they were the first married couple on TV to sleep in the same bed.

Samantha & Darrin Stephens were the first mixed married couple on a show (Bewitched) to actually discuss their differences. The show featured a witch (Elizabeth Montgomery) who married a mortal (Dick York & Dick Sargent). Underneath the mother in law jokes, nosey neighbors and special effects, serious issues like prejudice, negative stereotypes and tolerance were covered. How many times did we see Endora (Agnes Moorehead) tell Samantha that she disapproved of her daughter marring a mortal, what mortals did to them in the early days of Salem, or how mortals depict witches with hooked noses and warts. If you did not know that I was talking about TV witches, you might think that I was talking about one of a number of disenfranchised minorities.

If you think that I am connecting the dots incorrectly like some conspiracy theorist, I would encourage you to do a Google search and type in "Bewitched" and "Mixed Marriage", see what you find. I also want to point out that when Bewitched first premiered in 1964 it was not without controversy. Some stations refused to carry the show under pressure from religious groups that did not like the idea of a fine red blooded American male marrying a witch, a witch seen in a positive light, or an attractive witch (a problem that also pledged "Glinda the Good"). After Dick Sergeant joined the cast there was a concern that the public might find out that he was gay, even though no one was concerned about Uncle Arthur (Paul Lynde).

I do hope that the new "Bewitched" movie (Opening June 24th) explores some of the themes that I mentioned. Also look for my friend and fellow storyteller (Check out STORY SALON) Clay Bravo, as the waitress in a scene with Nicole Kidman and Michael Caine

While writing this I found a new Bewitched controversy. The cable network TV Land has a program where they erect statues to commemorate and salute icons and images of classic television called TV Landmarks. Past honorees have included ''The Honeymooners" (Ralph Kramden at the New York bus terminal), ''The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (Mary Richards in Minneapolis), ''The Andy Griffith Show" (Andy and Opie Taylor in Raleigh, N.C.) and ''The Bob Newhart show'' (Bob Hartley in Chicago). TV Land commissioned a Samantha Stephens statue to be erected in Salem Mass. Salemites claim that the statue trivializes the memory of the legal murders committed during the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. In the end The City of Salem accepted TV Land’s offer of the statue, and it will stand near the church where people were accused of being witches and the site of the courthouse where they were condemned.

I’m sure if Samantha Stephens were here her only response would be, "Well?".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Thursday, May 19, 2005

School House Rocked. (Click PODCAST)

The other day my wife Donna wanted to send some DVDs to her nephews (ages four and six). She thought that the Schoolhouse Rock series would be good gift. Donna called her sister and asked if she thought the boys might like a Schoolhouse Rock DVD. Donna's sister did not know what she was talking about. Donna said, "You know Conjunction Junction what’s your function?" How could someone who was a child living in the United States between the years 1973 and 1985 not know about School House Rock.

My friend Zadra and her band "The Willies" sing a cover of "Interjections!". Governmental and lobbyist groups requested cassettes of "I'm Just A Bill" to learn how a bill becomes a law. I started thinking about how many times Schoolhouse Rock helped me out in school and beyond because by now I couldn't get "Conjunction Junction" out of my head.

First there was "Multiplication Rock". My favorite was "Three Is A Magic Number". Those football players were very helpful in teaching me to multiply by 3. Sadly I found out that player # 30 died of brain cancer caused by steroid use.

"Grammar Rock" was helpful in teaching me that "A Noun Is A Person, Place Or Thing", although I got distracted from the intended lesson when I saw a white Chubby Checker in the cartoon. "Interjections" was made more fun when we realized that profanity counted as an interjection. We would sing a dirtier version of the song on the playground.

"America Rock" came out during the time of the Bicentennial and the timing could not be more perfect, in school we were given the assignment of memorizing the Preamble to the Constitution. We proudly told our teacher that we already knew it thanks to America Rock’s "The Preamble". My high school civics teacher skipped over how a bill becomes a law because we were all familiar with "I’m Just A Bill". That song still plays in my head when I'm watching our real lawmaker on one of the cable news channels. Of course the lawmakers aren’t as dimensional or lifelike as the cartoon characters.

I wish "Science Rock" had done a song about the atom. That would been a big help in my high school science class.

I was very fortunate. Sesame Street first aired when I was four years old. Schoolhouse Rock first aired when I was in elementary school. It's sad that I know more people who buy the Schoolhouse Rock DVD for themselves in the name of nostalgia than people who buy the Schoolhouse Rock DVD for their kids in the name of education. These songs have stood the test of time. I would hope that if there is no place for Schoolhouse Rock on broadcast TV then there would be a place on a cable channel like Nickelodeon or N O G G I N.

To quote the girl at the end of Interjections, "DARN! That's the end!"

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Boldly going, going, gone. (Click PODCAST)

I’m stunned. It's hard to believe that with the cancellation of "STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE", for the first time in18 years there will not be a STAR TREK series on the air. I have spent an abnormal amount of time engaged in water cooler talk as to why the latest STAR TREK spin-off failed to last more than 4 seasons. I do consider myself a TREK fan but I am hesitant to use terms like Trekkie or Trekker. I see STAR TREK the same way I see religion. It can be a great source of comfort, it should be used in moderation and I don't want to associate with or be associated with its followers. These devoted fans by the way recently raised over 15 million dollars to keep this fifth TREK series on the air, forcing them to delay moving out of their parent’s basements for at least... Well I guess they had the disposable income anyway. Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are Trekkies or Trekkers. Go rent the documentary TREKKIES and you will know what I am talking about.

What Gene Roddenberry pitched, as "Wagon Train to the Stars" became much more than what WilliamShatner described on SNL as, "...just a TV show!" Roddenberry managed to address the problems of the day that would not have been addressed otherwise on TV, by using outer space as its backdrop. The show inspired many to reach for the stars by studying science. People of color and women seeing Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) on the Enterprise bridge saw a future that included them. The show inspired new technology and it's packaging. Imagine what your cell phone or home computer would look like without STAR TREK as inspiration. Gene Rodenbery's vision also showed us a future where people of all races worked and played together (including TV's first interracial kiss Plato's Stepchildren).

I know that I'm making this sound bigger than just the cancellation of a TV show. I liked Enterprise and was not bothered by the multiple episode story lines. I still saw Gene Roddenberry's original intentions realized in this latest STAR TREK franchise. I liked that Captain Jonathan Archer’s (Scott Bakula ) Enterprise and crew was less sophisticated than Captain Kirk's or Picard's. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter if you are battling an unknown alien threat or debating the moral implications of interfering with the development of an alien species, as long as the show is well written and well acted, that’s all that matters.

One of the great things about Trek is that you can never run out of story ideas. All you have to do is look at today's newsmakers, paint them green and stick them on another planet.

Fear not Trekkies or Trekkers. Even though we are saying goodbye to Captain Archer’s Enterprise, the franchise will live long and prosper. There is now talk about an 11th STAR TREK feature scheduled for release in 2007. I look forward to it, just don’t expect to see me at the first screening and I definitely wont be in uniform because to quote Groucho Marx, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Monday, May 09, 2005

Welcome to my “CHILD OF TELEVISION” Podcast (Click PODCAST).

Click the above link to hear my new “CHILD OF TELEVISION” Podcast*.

Now you have 2 ways to Stay Tuned.


Tony Figueroa


*Podcasting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Podcasting is a way of publishing sound files to the Internet, allowing users to subscribe to a feed and receive new audio files automatically. Podcasting is distinct from other types of audio content delivery because it uses the
RSS protocol. This technique has enabled many producers to create self-published, syndicated radio shows.
Users subscribe to podcasts using "podcatching" software (also called "aggregator" software) which periodically checks for and downloads new content. It can then sync the content to the user's portable music player, hence the
portmanteau of Apple's "iPod" and "broadcasting". Podcasting does not require an iPod, however; any digital audio player or computer with the appropriate software can play podcasts.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Married to a Child of Television. (Click PODCAST)

When my wife and I were dating, it would not be unusual to make a "date" out of a "Gilligan’s Island" marathon, but back then we were young and broke. The longer we’re married, the more our tastes in television grow apart. For example, I enjoy watching the news, but she finds it too depressing. In the time we’ve been together, we went from, "I’ll watch whatever you want to watch, honey", to her actually heckling the stuff I like to watch.

When I have insomnia, I sometimes turn on those after hour’s movies on cable, you know, the ones showing the works of that notable thespian Shannon Tweed. Now, in all fairness, Ms. Tweed puts out - a good product. Personally, I prefer the earlier work she did with Mark Singer as opposed to her later work with Andrew Stephens. Since all these movies all have to have these obligatory gratuitous nude scenes which I think really slows down the plot, my wife always feels the need to point out the silicone, "Fake! Those are fake. Those are so fake." Like I care. "They don't move they just stay there. Why is she in the shower again?"

One of the shows my wife likes that I don’t care for is "A Baby’s Story" on The Learning Channel (TLC). It’s a reality show that covers the final weeks before birth. When that comes on, my wife gets the nesting urge and I have to leave the room. It’s not the bloody parts that get me, I’ll watch a heart bypass on "The Operation" while eating rigatoni in marinara sauce. But I can’t watch the touchy feely stuff where the husbands are all nice and sweet, rubbing the wife’s feet and doing all that stuff that makes the rest of us look bad. It’s not fair to us because that guy on TV is whipped, I mean, wiped out. His resistance is broken and, HELLO he’s on TV. Of course he’s gonna be good. Usually after my wife watches "A Baby’s Story" on TLC, she gets what I call baby fever. Then whenever we walk by a Baby Gap, which doesn't sell baby clothes, just miniture adult clothes, she gets all, Oh, "that’s so cute, it’s so little". Then we see a cute baby in the stroller sleeping, emphasis on the word, sleeping. Then she goes, "I want one". Finally, the baby fever breaks when we are either at the movies or on an airplane. Now it makes sense why the airlines charge $5.00 for the headsets to see the in-flight movie. That’s the same price of a ticket for a matinee movie. Which we all know is the screaming babies’ natural habitat. Once the crying concerto starts, she goes, "That’s it. I want my tubes tied".

A Child of Television can only marry another Child of Television and even though our taste grow apart, sometimes it’s still fun to make a date out of a "Gilligan’s Island" marathon.

Instead of a quote I’ll just say, "Happy 12th Anniversary to my beautiful wife Donna".

Stay Tuned



Tony Figueroa

P.S. No TV Tonight.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

And still another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: The V-Chip and the TV Ratings System.

Once again as I said before, "When I started writing this column, it wasn’t to be an anti "Parents Television Council" forum".
CHILD OF TELEVISION: My message to "The Parents Television Council".CHILD OF TELEVISION: Another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: Crossing Jordan
CHILD OF TELEVISION: And another message to "The Parents Television Council". RE: TIME Magazine "The Decency Police"

Recently the PTC has released two editorials the first one was "The V-Chip is No Magic Pill". No where in the article does it mention a flaw with the technology with the V-chip. L. Brent Bozell sites two reasons as to why the chip is useless,

"For starters, most parents have no idea how this V-chip works, or know that their TV set even contains one. A survey done by the Kaiser Family Foundation discovered that only 15 percent of parents they surveyed have used the V-chip. Many of the survey's respondents (39 percent) didn't realize that their new TV sets were equipped with a V-chip, while others (20 percent) knew they had a V-chip, but haven't used it".

The PTC should use their web site to educate parents on how to use the V-chip. I can sum this us with, "It's a poor workman who blames his tools" It was parents groups who insisted that we have TV ratings and the V-chip. Finally, as I said in CHILD OF TELEVISION: "V" is for Chip.

"Parents are outraged over the fact that little Timmy mastered the V-chip faster than they did, but find it funny that little Timmy can open Mommy’s child proof bottle of Prozac when Mommy can't figure out the child proof cap herself. So something that could kill little Timmy takes a back seat to a TV show".

L. Brent Bozell's other point is,

"More important, however, is what the industry knows but isn't saying: the V-chip is worthless. Even if parents know how to use it, for the V-chip to be effective in blocking programming, it needs to identify the content descriptors listed at the beginning of the program -- such as "V" for violence, "L" for harsh language, "S" for sexual material, and "D" for sexual dialogue."

This proves that there is no problem with the chip itself. His issue is with the ratings system and the fact that the networks pick the rating for the show. Forgive my skepticism, but since there is an ongoing battle between the morality and children's advocates who want to see more restrictions, and the creative talents, who by their nature will want to express their creative freedom, push the envelope and defend their First Amendment Rights. I would like to see some examples as to why you think the ratings system is useless.

Ask and ye shall receive.

L. Brent Bozell followed up with "PTC Study Finds TV Ratings System A Failure". Where he said,

"The ratings system is a failure and consequently the V-chip, which depends upon reliable ratings to work, also is a failure. It cannot be relied upon to consistently and accurately block offensive programming since parents can't rely on the ratings to identify potentially offensive content," (Again this proves that there is no problem with the chip itself.)

The PTC study (That looks like a PTC Commercial) is very detailed and may have some valid points, but I have to question the credibility of the people who put the study together since the PTC has a specific agenda. One reason for me questioning the study comes from this April 18, 2005 Reuters article PTC: Nets' ratings mislead "The TV ratings are meaningless," said PTC President Brent Bozell.

"Most television programs showing foul language, violence and inappropriate sexual dialogue or situations do not use the appropriate content descriptors."

Here is one of the examples.

"It cited censored profanity on ABC’s "America's Funniest Home Videos," which had a PG, or parental guidance, rating but no language warning."

If the un-scripted profanity is censored, then why does it need a warning? The PTC study has many examples of un-scripted censored profanity like this (many on Reality Shows) padding their statistics and they list the words that were censored making the study more offensive that the shows themselves. I would think that the PTC would be thrilled that the Networks are bleeping foul language.

To quote Author: Aaron Levenstein, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital".

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Friday, April 22, 2005

Algebra, Role Models and Fictional Characters. (Click PODCAST)

I had an algebra teacher in college who wanted us to look at subtraction differently so as to better handle some of the algebra problems. He told us not to look at subtraction as "take away" as we were taught in elementary school. "Addition and Subtraction are the same thing. Addition is the adding positive numbers, while Subtraction is the adding negative numbers. It's the same thing" I can apply the same idea to role models.

When we used to play on the playground and one of the kids would say an ethic slur, repeating words that they heard grown ups and the older kids say, a teacher would address the child with, "That word is very hateful. Do you want people to think that you’re a racist?" Not fully understanding what she meant we asked, "What’s a racist?" The teacher responded with, "Ah? Archie Bunker. You don’t want people to think that you’re an Archie Bunker." To be fair, Archie was more of a bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ. A racist is: A person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others. Archie would freely admit that blacks were better singers, dancers and athletes. People used to criticize Archie saying he was a bad role model. I always thought Archie was great role model. He was a perfect example of what I did not want to be. Parents considered Bart Simpson a bad role model. I say Bart is a great role model. He a perfect example of how kids should not act. By the way, Bart Simpson is a cartoon character that adds a second degree of separation from reality. Fictional characters should not be seen as role models anyway because their purpose is to drive the story many times requiring them to be larger than life. When I have created characters for scripts, I never asked if this character will be a positive role model, nor do I ponder how can I make my script undermine the morals of America's youth. I create characters that I hope the audience likes, identifies with, and will want to see week after week.

Parents Television Council Research and Publications Director Melissa Caldwell discussed Indecency on CNBC's The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch on March 30, 2005. PTC Video Clips -- Playing: Melissa_CNBC.wmv Ms. Caldwell said in regards to Desperate Housewives, "My solution is, show consequences if you are going to depict that kind of behavior." The characters on the show do have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Since the show is done in the style of a soap opera, most story lines do not get resolved in the course of one episode. But eventually they will have to deal with the consequences of their actions and just like in real life, some characters learn their lesson and some don't. Lets face it, does the audience really want to see Archie Bunker, Bart Simpson, Frank Burns, J.R. Ewing, Boss Hogg, Karen Walker or Gabrielle Solis see the light and walk the straight and narrow? I don't think so. In fact that's a sure-fire guarantee that the show will "Jump The Shark". Don't forget even Superman had his flaws, and he was also a pathological liar.

I was talking to a friend on how some people refer to showing bad behavior on TV as glamorizing the bad behavior. I said, " That's as ridiculous as saying that Archie Bunker glamorized bigotry". My friend pointed out that in a way Archie did glamorize bigotry. He reminded me that there were people in this country that idolized Archie and tuned into "All in the Family" every week to hear Archie say what they are thinking and not knowing that the character of Archie is mocking them. CHILD OF TELEVISION: Where’s Norman Lear now that we need him? Should the writers of these shows factor in this clueless demographic? I say no, because were still talking about fictional characters but I will make an exception with some characters that may influence young kids’. Behaviors like Fonzie getting a library card. A television program show is a form of story telling where there are good guys and bad guys (Don't make me bring up that period in the 70s when "Tom & Jerry had to be friends), and many is the time when the audience likes the bad guy best. Besides, before we go after fictional characters I think we should look at how real people in the media like Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Pat Robertson or Ann Coulter influence adults.

I’d like to revisit this topic. So please send me your comments so we can have some intelligent discussion on the subject.

To quote William Shatner on SNL, "It’s just a TV show! It’s just a TV show!"

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa

Friday, April 15, 2005

Never leave the house without watching the morning news. (Click PODCAST)

Every day of my life started with the morning TV news. Except this one morning in the summer of 1985. I woke up that morning to sound of BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. It came from one of the neighbor’s apartments. It sounded like someone was moving furniture. I went back to sleep. I woke up again to sirens. An ambulance pulled up to my building and I went to investigate. The noise I was awakened to earlier was my upstairs neighbor falling down a flight of stairs and breaking her leg. She asked me to help her track down her husband who had all the insurance information. The problem was that he was working a Swap Meet somewhere in Oxnard, an hour north of L.A. The EMT told me that they were taking her to Cedars-Sinai. I told her that would meet her at Cedars then I got into my car. I noticed cops all over the neighborhood but didn't think much of it. I'm driving west and I pass this one cop driving east he gives me a good look. I didn't give it much thought because I was in a hurry. Then lights started flashing and the sirens are going off. I pull over so the cop can pass me and he didn’t.

Over the loud speaker I hear, "Get out of the car and put your hands on your head". I do what he says and then ask, "Is there a problem officer?" "Oh yeah", "You did a lot of things", the cop said. It's 110 degrees outside and this cop wanted me to put my hands on the black hood of his squad car that was so hot. Egg frying hot. I cheated and just had my hands hover about half an inch over the hood. The cop started going through my pockets, then throwing its contents on the ground. He then noticed that my hands were not on the hood of the car. So standing behind me he grabbed my wrists and forced them on the hood of his car, of course when you touch something that hot you have an involuntary reaction and jerk back. I jerked back. "E-YOW!" And I knocked the cop over on his ass. He jumped back up and drew his gun and shouted, "I said put your hands on the hood!" Okay, flip them over when they’re done.

He takes my keys and starts’ searching the trunk of my car when Good-Cop drives up. He comes over shakes his head, tells me that I can get off the car and asks me not to report his fellow officer. No problem there. I was just so traumatized and embarrassed by the incident that I was glad that it was over.

After helping my neighbor in the hospital, I came home and turned on the news. The top story was that the "Night Stalker" had struck the night before in my neighborhood. On the screen was the latest Police Artist rendering of the suspect. The drawing was of a guy with brown hair, brown eyes and a tan. The picture looked more like me than it did Richard Ramirez, who would be captured months later.

I learned 3 things from that incident:

1. That young cop was probably more afraid of me than I was of him.

2. I’m half Puerto Rican, but since I pass for white I can't play the race card.

3. Never leave the house without watching the morning news.

To quote The West Wing’s Leo McGarry (John Spencer), "That’s the price you pay when you look like the bad guys".
For all of you "Wing Nuts" this quote comes from Episode 45 Title: ISAAC AND ISHMAEL Original Air date October 3rd 2001

Stay Tuned


Tony Figueroa